I've Moved!

My blog has moved! Contact me if you would like to know the new link to it! dvarey@uccs.edu

I Wish...

Gee, I really wish I could blog about my favorite class EVER! *sigh*

Dear Mom...

Is my new blog done yet? I just can't seem to bring myself to write until it's done...
*sigh*

I Blog For ME

I realize that I have not written for a long time. And that I don't write as much as I would like. I came to the realization today that PART of the reason why I am not writing as much is because of my audience. I don't want to be writing for people, I want to be writing for myself, as a record of what is going on in my life and my thoughts and feelings about it. And almost every time I sit down to write, I am writing knowing that certain people will be reading it. And some of those certain people are holding me back from totally expressing my mind through my own blog. I don't know what I want to do, but I hate the fact that I feel like I have to edit what I type because I don't want certain people knowing about certain things.

On a good note, I got to hang out with the quads this weekend. These are my 3 best friends from high school, and I love how we have kept our friendship alive the past 2 years, and that every time we get together we can just laugh in each others company and pick up where we left off last. I am truly truly thankful that God put those girls in my life. They have taught me a lot about life, and about myself as well.

However, I am also very very excited to be back in my home in Colorado Springs with my 3 roommates again. We always have so much fun and encourage each other so much, and I think we have all missed each other tremendously this summer. It will be an exciting week having everyone together back in the house again!

It is kind of like a new start for me too. This new school year, I mean. I don't plan to be involved in the Navigators at all this year, and I am anxious to see where God leads me. Whether that be high school ministry or something else. I just know know that two of my major prayers for this year are: 1. Where does God want me come end of May? Come end of graduation? 2. Where would God like me to minister (over seas?) next summer? Feel free to join me in these prayers =) I am anxious to hear stories of my friends who all traveled over seas this past summer. I do believe that God is calling me to serve in other countries, but I want to be where HE wants me, not just where I would like to go. I am open to wherever He wants to send me, I just hope He will show me.

Anyway, that's enough for today. It's time to get back to my book =)

I L.O.V.E You

I know that I said I would write once a week this summer, but looks like I just can't get around to doing it. I don't want to say that summer is too busy to sit down and write a blog, but in a way it feels like it is. But busy with pleasurable enjoyable activities rather than the usual stress building crap which usually takes up my time. This summer has been so much fun so far, and even though I get to go to Alaska in 2 days I am sad a little bit because tomorrow night is my last night living with Meagan. Her and I have had so much fun together this summer and I'm sad that it is coming to an end. At the beginning of summer we made a list of fun activities we would like to do, and we have done almost all of them now. If it weren't for her I would come home from work everyday and probably just sit in front of the tv the rest of the night, but since Meagan isn't a fan of tv her and I do more fun summer activities. I didn't get to read the bible with her as much as I would have liked this summer. And I know it's partly my fault but through my prayer time I feel like God is showing me that this summer living with her hasn't been a complete waste either. God will do what He wants in her life, and I'm just glad I get to be there for her! It's not like we are saying goodbye forever, we just won't be living together anymore.

But on another note, I am going to Alaska in 2 days and I am very, VERY excited! I'm looking forward to this vacation not just for getting a week off of work but because I'm going to a place I have never been before, and I think it's going to be so much fun. I am super stoked to see Moose!

Emily is back from Laos, and from the little I have talked to her, her mission trip was beyond great, which my roommates and I are thrilled to hear. I am so glad she is back though, and I can't wait until she comes home because she was very much missed this summer!

Anyway, I don't really have a whole lot to say. It's nice to just lay in bed and write and feel comfortable writing without the heat getting to me. Maybe that's why I haven't written that much this summer, because it's too hot to sit down and write. But not tonight. Tonight is cool and breezy and it's going to be a good sleeping night! The little girls I babysit both told me that they loved me today. At first I thought it was weird when they said this because I am not a parent or anything to them, and then I just thought it was cute because they are just little girls. But I can see it on their face that they really mean it, and when I say it back to them I really mean it too. It's weird and I can't really explain it but I love those 2 little girls almost more than anything else in my life right now. I can't even imagine the love between a mom and her kids, being even more strong than the love between me and the girls. I love to just look at their little faces when they snuggle up next to me, I don't know what I would do if anything ever happened to one of them. I do love them a lot. And I am so thankful that God put them in my life, even if it is just for a summer-which I'm hoping it will be longer! It's frustrating for me sometimes when I don't have a boyfriend, and I'm not in a relationship with a guy, but it is nice to know that you are loved by other people. And I think God is showing me to be content in who I am right now, and showing me that I am being loved all around me, mostly by Anneliese and Claire =)

A Summer of Healing

I love how the Lord gives you what you need in exactly the right amounts. Lately, I've been learning to believe God, instead of just merely believing in Him. He has shown me so much this summer. More this summer than I ever think He has in my entire life. But then again I think I am actively seeking and pursuing Him and listening to Him more this summer than I ever have before. And it's great! God is giving me the kind of faith that I have never have, and definitely taking away my unbelief. One of the verses I've been praying through this Summer is Mark 9:23-24 which is talking about asking God to overcome and take away our unbelief. I can definitely see how God is changing my heart this summer and giving me the faith to believe that He is who He says He is and that He can do what He says He can do. I can't believe I ever doubted Him!

This has definitely been a summer for healing as well. I'm typically a bitter person and like to hold grudges for a little bit but I have learned this summer that when I do that then my attention is not on God, and that's not what He wants from me. So I have learned to just let go of a lot of things. One being a guy that I know I gave a little too much of my heart to in the past. God has helped me overcome him and those feelings and I believe He is now preparing my heart for the guy I could (hopefully) potentially marry someday. Another thing God has helped me overcome is the bitter feelings towards my old roommate. There was a lot of hurt on my part with that whole living situation, the controlling and manipulation that she did to me hurt me more than I realized, but God has completely taken it off my heart. It's one thing to say that and another to feel it, but when I learned that she had done another control issue thing by deleting me as friends on myspace and facebook I didn't get mad like my old self normally would. I felt no bitterness at all, and it finally feels good knowing I'm relieved of the whole situation. Apart from all the earthly things that God has been working on in my life, it's been a summer for healing God and my relationship. I didn't even realize until I started doing this bible study that I had issues that needed to be fixed in our relationship, but together we are working through those and I love being able to put my complete faith in Jesus as we work through it together. I finished the book the Shack the other night, and I enjoyed it thoroughly! I believe that is one of the tools in which God gave me to help me see things more clearly between Him and I. I would recommend it to anybody!

One more thing before I wrap this up. Things with Meagan are great and just keep getting better and better! The other night we sat down and read the bible together. She told me what she liked and didn't like about it, so we are now going to take a different approach to the bible so that she is able to get more out of it. She read The Shack as well and really liked it, I hope God spoke to her through it. But one of the best feelings and moments this summer, and it's happened a couple of times now, is when I wake up and walk out of my room to use the restroom, I see Meagan in her room by herself reading her bible that I gave her. It's such a good feeling! I love that she is curious and looking for God to be at least a little bit present in her life! Prayers are definitely being answered this summer!

Tiffany's Wedding

I can finally relax a little! Tiffany's wedding is finally over, and not in a bad way. That day has been working up for 9 months now and it finally came. It was such a busy and crazy week for me, working 25 hours and then going everywhere all the time for wedding stuff. But I felt very honored to be doing everything for her. The wedding itself was not what I expected at all, but at the same time very nice. It was the most unorganized, laid back wedding I have ever seen, which made it nice for everybody I thought. They only had their closest family and friends at the wedding (40 people tops) which made it less intimidating for people like me who don't like to get in front of people. And Tiffany looked absolutely beautiful! It makes me excited for my own wedding someday. The wedding itself was actually very fun, I enjoyed myself a lot there. But what I loved most about the whole week was spending time with Tiffany's family. She has the kind of family with like 10 crazy aunts, and they were all out in Colorado for the big day. They were all just so fun to be around, especially at the rehearsal dinner where everybody went to the Colorado Springs Sky Sox (baseball) game. That was my favorite part of the whole week. Being at a baseball game sitting on a private patio so you don't have to deal with the crowd, and being with enjoyable people just made everything so relaxed and pleasurable. I wish I could do it again.





I am however relieved that the wedding is over. It took a lot of time, money, and energy from me this past week, and was very stressful. Now that it's over I can just kick back and worry about nothing, and do nothing except go play with my little girls.


Meagan and I are reading The Shack together right now, and it's a very very good book! I can't wait to get to the end of it. We are also starting TODAY to read our bible together. That was the plan all along but it's been a month since we have lived together and we have not gotten in the Word yet, so we decided we are starting that today. I'm excited! And also very excited for this stress-free week where I have no responsibilities other than going to babysit. And only 2 more weeks until I can go home, for the 4th of July, and I am very excited to see my family and puppy.

Some Thoughts

Don't you love when God is talking to you? I mean, I know He is talking to you all the time, but I love when there are those few moments (for me anyway) when I absolutely 100% know that God is saying something to me. This week He has been talking to me a lot about faith. In the bible study I am doing this week is all about having faith. Between the bible study and the book "The Shack" which I am reading, I feel like my faith is growing more and more each day this week. And it feels good knowing that I am understanding what God is saying to me, but at the same time it's sometimes overwhelming, but in a good way. =)

I registered to vote today! It's something I've been wanting to do since I turned 18 but just never got around to doing it. But I finally did today! And it feels good knowing that I've finally done it, but it also feels good to know that it's my privilege to get a say in the next election.

Tomorrow night after work I am driving up to Denver to spend some time with dad, Jake, and Brody. It will be a nice little break and it will be good to see the family (minus mom). A good but short visit, since I have to be back down here on Sunday to start all the wedding festivities for Tiffany's wedding which is next Friday. Since I'm the maid of honor I guess it's part of my job to be there for the bride the week of her wedding, but let me just say, it will be nice when this wedding is over with! =)

Also, my cousin, Randi is graduating today. Exciting! I'm very sad I don't get to be out in California to see her, but I'm glad that my mom was able to go. I know she won't read this but for any of my relatives who are reading this, congratulate her for me =)

Summer Thus Far

I know it has been a while since I've posted a blog. But I did tell certain people that I would write at least once a week this summer, so I might as well get that going.

My summer is going great! I absolutely love my job. The 2 little girls I babysit, Anneliese and Claire, are the cutest girls in the whole world, and they absolutely love me, which makes it so much better! They always make me cute little crafts and are always telling me that I'm the best babysitter in the whole world. I am really enjoying spending my days with them, it doesn't even feel like I'm working.

Things have been going well with my roommates too. Emily is gone for the summer so one of my friends that I met this semester, Meagan, is renting her room for the summer. Her and I have so much fun together, which really makes summer a lot of fun. For the past couple weeks we have been going on bike rides together in the evenings almost every night. Because of her I don't spend as much time watching TV and doing stupid stuff, but instead doing fun summer things! Meagan is just beginning to dip her toes into Christianity and exploring what God is all about too, and it's such a privilege to walk along side her during that, and being able to read the bible with her and talking to her about God. It's been great! And I know God will just keep making this summer better and better for the both of us.

I am also doing a Beth Moore bible study with one of my other friends this summer. The study is called "Believing God" and I think it is exactly what I need right now. We have done the first week together and I am so excited to see what God has in store for me for the next 9 weeks. But I really think it will be a good study for me to do, and I'm really excited to be doing it with my friend Jen. It gives us the chance to get closer to one another and explore together what God is saying to both of us.

The best part about this summer is that I have absolutely no homework to do! I love being able to enjoy my house, roommates, friends and life without having the stress of school on my back. I love it!

Summer

I am really only writing this just so my mom won't take me off her blog roll! So this is my attempt to blog more =)

But I do have news! I got the best summer job in the world! I get to babysit these two sweet little girls all summer long! Which is only like one month away...EXCITING! =)

Excited!

I hold in my hand the key to my new house! The house is officially ours, and everything is set up for utilities, cable/Internet and everything else! Starting this weekend I will be living there with all my roommates and we are all so excited for this new beginning in all of our lives.

I am also super excited that it's spring break. I did absolutely nothing today, and it felt so great! It has been good to see old friends, and go to my old high school to see old teachers! I won't want it to come to an end, except that I will have a new home to go back to.

And my birthday is in a week from today! YIPPEE!!!

New House

This morning my roommates and I all signed a lease for a house! We are all so excited and have no doubts that this is the house that God wants us in. We knew it was the house for us right when we first saw it and looked through it. And we were just confirmed even further when our parents saw it and they all loved it too! I leave for spring break on Wednesday and when I come back I will be living in my new house! That means only 4 and a half more days of living here in this house. I, along with my roommates, are all sooo excited and happy!

Good News!

So we looked at the house yesterday, and decided against it. It just didn't feel right when we met the guy and walked through the house, it didn't feel like it was meant to be our home. But today our roommate (the one we are all having problems with) informed me that we are allowed to end our leases early if we need to. I'm sure she said this because she is probably just as tired of us as we are her, but she said the reason was because she didn't want us to be bound to a lease through April 30th if we found the right house now. Which means, We could be living in a new house as early as April 1st! (my birthday!) And when you really break it down, the last week in March is our spring break, which I will go home for anyway, which means I could only be living in this house for 3 more weeks! It sounds sooo great right now that in 3 weeks I won't be living like this anymore! But we are just allowing God to take control of everything and show us the house we need and when to move out. That doesn't mean we aren't looking though, we pretty much are looking online 24-7 for houses for rent, and driving around during our free time looking at them and looking for other houses for rent. I am just so excited that this is FINALLY happening, and that I can see light at the end of the tunnel. Or from Psalm 23:4, I will get out of the dark valley! And VERY soon!

New Houses!

Today is such an exciting day! It's so exciting because today my roommates and I are going to look at a house! I'm sure we will end up looking at several, but the first one is just so exciting because it's so new to all of us and we are all in the same boat together. It will be fun to look at houses and decide together what we like and don't like. The house that we are looking at today is actually just right down the street from where we live now. Therefore, it's still close to the campus! From the outside it's a beautiful house and much better pricing than what we are paying now. We are trying not to get too attached to any house though because we don't want to get our hearts set on something if that is not what God has planned for us. I'm so excited to start this process with my roommates, and today is the first day =)

The Atonement Child

I just finished reading the Atonement Child, by Francine Rivers. It was a very, very good book and I enjoyed reading it very much. Francine Rivers wrote the book "Redeeming Love", which is my all time favorite book, so I decided to read another one by her. Although I didn't like The Atonement Child as much as Redeeming Love, Francine Rivers did not dissapoint me. I think the book is a very good representation of a woman's struggle when facing the issue of abortion. Not only thinking about abortion, but let's the reader hear both sides to the issue, and then ultimately says what God thinks about abortion. Each child is a gift from God, no matter how they were conceived, and there will always be a place for them in this world, I just wish everybody knew and understood that. I would definitely recommend this book to people, because I really enjoyed it. Redeeming Love is great too! =)

Tired...

I am tired of school already! And it's only the third week in! =( I don't know how I am going to make it the whole semester. I already have tests even, all in one week. Next week is going to be a very miserable week. And that makes me sad because it is Valentines Day next week. Oh well.

I can't wait to move out also. I have so much fun with 3 of my roommates and I cannot wait to live in a house with them where there is no unwelcoming feelings or any negative feelings when you walk into the house. I can't wait to decorate our new house with them however we want, and make it whatever type of house we want. It will be great and I can't wait to get out of here. I really hate coming home to my own home and having these negative feelings and feeling unwelcomed. And I really hate that myspace/facebook have to be a source for sharing our feelings with each other. We live in a house together, we should at least be able to talk to each other, and one of us isn't talking. It sucks. I just can't wait to get out of it all and live with Kathy, Emily and Casey (3 of my roommates now) who actually have enough roommate courtesy to try and live peacefully. So hopefully these next few months will go by really fast so we can get our new house!

No TV For Me!

Today's Ten for Tuesday is pretty easy for me! The list is, 10 things you can do instead of watching TV. And since my house does not get cable TV, I don't watch a lot of TV unless it is on dvd. So here is my list, in no particular order.

10 Things I Can Do Instead Of Watching TV:

1. Read

2. Homework
3. Play guitar hero

4. Sleep

5. Hang out with roommates

6. Facebook

7. Computer games/Activities

8. Cook/Eat

9. Shop

10. Call mom to bugher

Thank You, God!

I really don't feel much like blogging right now. But it is Monday, which means More of Him Monday, and I haven't done one in a while so why not. I will make this really really short. I prayed a week and a half ago that God would show himself to me since I was feeling kind of on my own these days, that God wasn't around much. And just in the past week God answered my prayer and has shown himself to me in so many different ways. The biggest one being my new bible study! It was a spare of the moment decision to join this bible study (Refresh), and I just absolutely love it, and the girls in it. It is an all girls bible study that meets every Wednesday night. We are reading the book called "Lady In Waiting" and the book is all about finding God's purpose for our life while we are waiting for "Mr. Right". It is exactly what I need right now! And it is so great that I get to meet and grow close with a whole new group of girls that I have never met before. We all come from such different places, and I am excited to see what God has in store for us this semester!

Exciting Hopes For Second Semester!

Right now, I feel God's presence all around me! It seems like God works with my heart and in my life right at the most perfect times. Lately I have been having doubts about whether or not I am suppose to be in the Navigators, which is the Christian group I have been involved in on campus for the past year and a half. Even though the group and people in it had such a big role in helping me reconnect with Christ, I have been wondering if this is really where God wants me. Lately, I have not really liked what I've been seeing at Navigators, and I won't go into detail but it mostly has to do with the leadership team on Navs. Along with the fact that if you are not on the leadership team, or are a freshmen, Navigators does not really have a lot for you to help you along and encourage you in your walk with Jesus. And I fall into this category.

But anyway, I decided I am not doing a Navs bible study this semester, which is a good decision on my part, but also bad at the same time because that is leaving me with no place to go and get connected in a small group setting. I was at The MILL last night which is a college/20 somethings group with over 1,000 people in it that meets every Friday night. I went last night, like usual, and they made an announcement saying that The MILL small groups were starting up Spring semester. So I grabbed a booklet and the ONLY group that caught my attention and was at the ONLY time I could go was an all girls bible study that meets every Wednesday night. I loved everything this lady had to say about her bible study, and what is even more weird to me is that the study is called "Refresh" and meets Wednesday nights. Navs is called "Refresh" and meets every Wednesday night. I just thought that it was kind of weird in a way. So I e-mailed the lady for more information and to see if I could come check it out!

One other thing that caught my attention in the booklet was Mentorship. All last semester I was looking for somebody to be my spiritual mentor, and everybody I asked either couldn't, didn't want to, or didn't feel like they could fill that role for me. I prayed and prayed about it but God didn't provide me with that person last semester. And in The MILL booklet, there was an ad saying that you could get connected with somebody who could love to meet with you and mentor you and give you spiritual wisdom. I e-mailed that person as well, so we will see what God has in store for me.

Just to make this blog a tiny bit longer, I ran into a somewhat old friend last night at The MILL. I met her last semester and had a few classes with her and she is a member of Campus Crusade at UCCS. I don't have any classes with her this semester, and haven't talked to her in a while. So I said hi last night and we started filling each other in a little bit on what's been going on in our lives. I told her a little bit about why I have been feeling uneasy about Navigators, and told her a little bit about some of the roommate trouble going on in my house. Natalie then asked if she could pray for me quickly with me. We stood there and she said a quick prayer and I can't even express how much that touched me. Nobody has ever asked me if they could pray with me like that, and I loved that Natalie did that for me.

Before we all left The MILL for the night, me and 3 of my other roommates decided to get together in a quiet corner and just pray together, and pray over the unsettled situation in our house. It felt good to just hand the whole situation over to God, and to do it together was a really cool feeling. I haven't had much experience praying in groups, and this felt so good and right doing it with 3 of my roommates that are striving for the same thing. I am so thankful and blessed to have them in my life!

So anyway, this all happened within one night, and I can't wait to see what God has planned for me this semester. I hope that He can put me in touch with a new group of friends, and a place to go and be myself and get fed spiritually with other people who want the same thing. Even if that isn't what He wants for me, it still felt really good to feel God's presence around me so powerful once again.