Does My Life Have A Purpose?

Right now I feel like my life is going nowhere. The last couple days I just can't help but think that my life is meant for better. I go to classes, some that I have an interest in and some I don't, and then come home and do lots of reading and homework for those classes. The reading is so long and boring and it is hard for me to see how it is going to help me in life. When I sit there and read my text about some womans life story, I just think to myself that I am meant for better things, that I shouldn't be sitting here reading this and doing this. I understand that it is part of the process of getting my bachelors degree, and from there going to bigger places. But it's pointless right now, and I feel like I am wasting my time. I feel like God has bigger plans for me. So why am I stuck doing this classwork?

I have also been struggling lately with where my life is going. I'm going to college. Right now I'm going so that I can become a teacher. But is that really what I want to do? Will I be any good at it? Is that God's plan for me? I feel like I have no direction right now, and have no idea where my life is headed. And even though I know God has a plan for my life, it's frustrating right now to not know what it is. It's hard sometimes for me to just sit back and let God be in control, but I do it, I let him have full control of my life, I just pray that he has a good plan for my life. Something I will enjoy doing, and be good at. Something that will help others in their life.

I just wish all the answers were clear to me right now. I'm tired of feeling like I'm trapped going to college for nothing. I'm tired of doing my daily activities while feeling that I am meant for bigger and better things. I wish I had some answers. I wish I knew what my future looks like. Or even just a small glimpse, just so I have some hope. But I guess all I can do right now is trust in God that He knows what he is doing with my life.

My Relaxing Tuesday...

So I made it through my first day of classes, and I think I am going to like this semester. I still have one more class to go, which is tonight, but the classes I have been to, I really like. All the professors seem really cool, and even the subject matter seems interesting enough to learn about. So I am hoping that this semester will be a good one.

And today is Ten For Tuesday. Today's topic is "10 Things You Don't Like About Your Job." And since I am no longer being a nanny, I am going to do my list of 10 for my current job, and the one I had last year. Working in the nursery at a local church. So here is my list, in no particular order...

10 Things You Don't Like About Your Job:

1. There are 2 locations, so you always have to be on top of what activities are where, and which location you are working at for that particular shift.

2. They do not pay nearly enough money for the amount of work you are sometimes doing.

3. You have to change diapers. Eww.

4. When the kids don't stop crying you have to page their parents, and then the parents are upset that you took them out of church. But it's not even our fault!

5. They don't have a lot of people working there, so they want you all the time, even when you tell them you are not available certain times.

6. Somebody calls you almost everyday trying to get their shift covered.

7. Then they get upset and hold it against you when you can't cover that shift.

8. I work during church services, which means I can hardly ever go to church myself.

9. Sometimes when they are short staffed in other departments, they make you fill in and teach pre-school, even though that's not my job!

10. Some kids just will never listen to you when you need them to stop doing something.

First Day! Ahh!

Today is my first day of my sophomore year in COLLEGE!!! I'm excited a little bit, but more than anything I'm scared. I made it through my freshmen year fine, for the most part, but what if sophomore year is different? I'm taking less classes so that I won't get as stressed out, so hopefully that will help. But I just know my classes will be harder this year. All I can do is my best I guess, and I'm going to work hard to do my best! That should be fine, right?

I've really been enjoying living in the house with all the girls! It's a great house, and I love all 4 of my roommates. We all get along really well and enjoy being with each other, so it's going to be a great year! Emily, one of my roommates, has already got me hooked on the TV show LOST. We watch is every chance we get downstairs on DVD. I enjoy it because it gives me a chance to hang out with her one on one and get to know her better and have fun! Once classes start though, I am going to have to cut back on LOST a little bit. We had a spaghetti dinner here at the house last night for all the incoming freshmen that might be involved in Navigators this year. So from 5-9 there were lots and lots of people in the house! My new house is kind of known for that, the hangout place, because Kristin, one of my roommates, cooks a lot! Which is fine by me, I like when there are lots of people here. It gave me a chance to see old friends from last year and get to know some of the new people that I will be seeing a lot this year.

I've been hanging out with my old roommate, Kristen, a lot lately too! It's been really fun because Kristen and I have always gotten along really well. She has been to my house a bit, and I've been to her new apartment a few times too. On Friday I even got to go to lunch with Kristen, Richelle, and Sammie...all 3 of my old roommates! It was really nice being all together again.

But I am going to stop writing for now, because I should get in the shower and ready to go. I'm not looking forward to classes, especially the classes I have to take this semester. But I am done by 1:30, and only have classes Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. That is what is going to keep me going this semester! And keep me from ditching class :-)

An Update

So, I know I have not been writing as much as I did when I first started this blog. I guess I feel like my life this summer is kind of boring, so there isn't much to write about or share. I don't really experience many new things except dealing with kids, so that is why I haven't been writing as much. Hopefully once I move back down to Colorado Springs (which will be this week!) and start school and work I will have more to blog about.

I am moving most of my stuff down to my new house today! I am soo excited! I won't start living there until sometime this week, most likely Wednesday, because there are a few things around here that I want to do before I move. But beside that, I am soo excited to move and get back to my life in Colorado Springs.

But in the meantime, I missed Ten For Tuesday this past week, no reason really, just totally slipped my mind. But since this is my blog and I can do whatever I want with it, I'm going to do Ten For Tuesday today! I could not think of 10 things for this week's topic though. So here it goes, my 5 for Tuesday...

Ten for Tuesday: 10 things you I NEVER do again! (in no particular order)


1. I will never and would never go back to middle school. Those were the worst years of my life. I had fun, but not in a good way, and got hurt a lot of times because of friends, and girls, and the way everybody is mean to eachother. Also, because that's when they start letting you eat whatever you want at lunch. So I started eating really bad food, and started gaining weight. So I would not go back there and relive those experiences.

2. I will never turn my back on God again. Not that I've never not wanted him in my life, but had a time in my life where I thought I could handle everything on my own, no matter what was thrown my way. I realize now that I can't live my life without Jesus in my heart, so I will never go back to living that way.

3. I will never work another retail job again. I worked at Old Navy for about 6 months, and hated every minute of it. I think retail is a job that everybody should have at least once in their life so they can appreciate people who are working those jobs. And I've already done that so I'm never going back to it again.

4. I will never go back to high school again and re-do and re-live all the things I wish I could. I enjoyed my high school years, but there are many things I would have done differently.

5. I will NEVER watch the movie "The Exorcism Of Emily Rose" EVER again.