Right now I feel like my life is going nowhere. The last couple days I just can't help but think that my life is meant for better. I go to classes, some that I have an interest in and some I don't, and then come home and do lots of reading and homework for those classes. The reading is so long and boring and it is hard for me to see how it is going to help me in life. When I sit there and read my text about some womans life story, I just think to myself that I am meant for better things, that I shouldn't be sitting here reading this and doing this. I understand that it is part of the process of getting my bachelors degree, and from there going to bigger places. But it's pointless right now, and I feel like I am wasting my time. I feel like God has bigger plans for me. So why am I stuck doing this classwork?
I have also been struggling lately with where my life is going. I'm going to college. Right now I'm going so that I can become a teacher. But is that really what I want to do? Will I be any good at it? Is that God's plan for me? I feel like I have no direction right now, and have no idea where my life is headed. And even though I know God has a plan for my life, it's frustrating right now to not know what it is. It's hard sometimes for me to just sit back and let God be in control, but I do it, I let him have full control of my life, I just pray that he has a good plan for my life. Something I will enjoy doing, and be good at. Something that will help others in their life.
I just wish all the answers were clear to me right now. I'm tired of feeling like I'm trapped going to college for nothing. I'm tired of doing my daily activities while feeling that I am meant for bigger and better things. I wish I had some answers. I wish I knew what my future looks like. Or even just a small glimpse, just so I have some hope. But I guess all I can do right now is trust in God that He knows what he is doing with my life.
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6 comments:
oh, sweetie! I understand what you are feeling and I know it's super frustrating.
Lots of people go through this. I think Christians especially have these types of questions of themselves, the "system" and God. This is an extra strong feeling when you are wanting to follow God's directions for your life.
Unfortunately, lots of life is about waiting.
I'll pray for some clarity for you, some insight from God.
Meanwhile, hang in there. Hopefully, the semester and how you feel will improve. love ya
i agree with gma. there will be many times in your life where you'll feel like all you're doing is waiting. but it's only one part of your life.
God wants us to be joyful in all things. this means that while we are waiting, we continue to live life to the fullest and be open to anything God brings our way.
try to look at this time in your life as one where you are observing, experimenting, and learning. believe me, there will be a time in your life where you'll want to go back to where you are right now.
ENJOY THE JOURNEY
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